International Asexuality Day 2026

Still in the same house, just in a different room.

Michelle Cameron, Proud Membership & Admin Officer

For International Asexuality Day, Michelle writes about what it means to identify as asexual, explaining some commonly held misconceptions.

Asexuality isn’t the absence of love or romance, it’s just another sexual orientation.

I love Pride and the joy that it brings. It’s a massive, shared affirmation of our existence, but I often feel excluded. The LGBT+ community is often perceived as loud and proud, and topics of conversation can sometimes be very personal. It can get overwhelming if intimate physical connection isn’t on your radar.

When I say I’m asexual (we also use “ace” to describe ourselves), I often feel like I’m looked at as if I’ve just suggested to a group of pizza lovers that I want pineapple on mine. For the record, I do - I love pineapple on pizza. I also like chocolate on pizza!

We share our "Coming Out”

If anyone understands the frustration of being told "it's just a phase”, or "you just haven't met the right person yet”, it’s the LGBT+ community. We share that same scar tissue. When I tell you I don’t experience sexual attraction, I’m not asking for a blood test or an appointment with a counsellor, I’m simply describing my baseline.

I do see beauty in others, I can look at an attractive person and think, “Wow, they’re really good-looking”, but I don’t get that tingling feeling, if you know what I mean.

Beyond the bedroom

One of the biggest hurdles is the assumption that attraction = sex. When I meet people I connect with, I feel a deep sense of love for them. I get asked if that means platonic love, or the love you have for family. No, it’s not like that.

It’s important to say at the outset, asexuality is not abstinence or celibacy. It is not a disorder or another identity. Being asexual is not a choice, there is nothing medically different about us, and it isn’t a fear of intimacy. Asexual people aren’t telling fibs to get close to you. We mean what we say, most of us just don’t feel sexual attraction.

Asexuality is something deeply personal to our identities and how we feel about others. I’ve read that people describe it as attraction, not action. That’s partly what it’s like, though not the complete story. I have a dear friend who enjoys self-pleasure, but isn’t attracted to others, and describes themself as ace.

Some of our terminology

Anyone lucky enough to have an asexual friend or partner will know there are many labels we use. Much like our siblings use labels (think bear or lipstick) so too does the ace community. You’ll hear:

• Asexual - very little or no sexual attraction
• Aromantic - very little or no romantic attraction
• Demisexual - sexual attraction only after forming a very deep emotional or romantic connection.

There are many others and I don’t have space to describe them all, so now would be a good time to visit your favourite queer library or bookshop.

At the end of the day, we’re all navigating a world that tries to tell us how our hearts and bodies should work. I’m not broken and I’m not a prude. I’m just trying to figure out where I am, and my map might be a different scale or projection than yours.

Get involved

Hold stalls and meetings with your colleagues and other members to raise awareness and open a safe listening space.

Share this blog post with members who may be interested – let them know that PCS supports LGBT+ people.

Join PCS Proud by updating your equality information

Join the PCS Proud members’ meeting, every last Tuesday of the month.

Contact proud@pcs.org.uk or equality@pcs.org.uk for more information.